On the Road with T & A

Back to Reality

2009-08-16T12:15:00.000-07:00

Back home. Ahh, our own bed. Ahh, two-ply toilet tissue. Ahh, real glasses to drink from.

Ahhhhh, a broken sewer pump. These issues are following and plaguing us even at home. Unbelievable. Must limit our water use.

Faced with a mountain of laundry and kids that need clothes for a week of camp, we drag everything to the laundromat. I decide to wash everything in our house since we are going: blankets, sleeping bags, everything. Just want we want to do on Friday night.

Laundromat by the numbers:
Number of washing machines occupied by the Shaw family: 11 super-sized
Number of quarters used: nearly 200
Number of hours spent at laundromat: 2
Number of times we say no to candy purchasing: 50
Number of victims who claim they are child laborers: 3
Mountain of clean laundry and no water down the sewer: priceless

On Saturday, we discover our hot water heater has decided to take a vacation. So now we have no hot water to run down the sewer anyway.

I am actually missing the RV.

A New Reality?

2009-08-12T21:50:00.000-07:00

I have a great idea for a new reality show, based on Iron Chef. Only you are in an RV and you must work with the equipment you have: two thin pots, both small. One plastic bowl. Five forks, knifes, spoons, melamine bowls, and four plates (one is broken), 5 yard-sale mugs and five plastic tumblers. Add to this one large plastic spoon, one spatula, two cutting boards and three knifes, all of which more closely resemble cave man tools that items designed to cut anything. Salt, pepper, garlic salt. Sporadic and unpredictable trips to a supermarket when you are starving hungry and have no idea when you will be going to a supermarket next. You must take starving husband and at least three children with you into the market and sometimes as a penalty you must take an entire additional family with you. You may or may not have at your disposal a BBQ facility, a grate, wood, or charcoal. You have no BBQ tools other than sticks for s’mores. You do have a microwave but you may only use it if you have a full power hook-up. You have approximately three cubic feet of refrigerator space to store food and that food will take a beating being bounced around for hours each day. You will use all these items, plus anything you find available in the camp store and one bonus item borrowed from another fellow camper, to prepare and serve a group of nine people up to three meals a day.

I tried this game for several days, and much to my surprise it was a lot of fun!

This is what you have to choose from in the camp store

All good things come to an end…RV do’s and do not’s

2009-08-12T21:30:00.000-07:00

Here we are at the end of this wonderful and long adventure. Amber and I feel as though we have been gone for months. We have been so removed from our daily lives and so not focused on the every day minutia that we can’t believe that it has only been 2 weeks!!

As we type this Ken is being his manly bear self and wrestling his boys in a space smaller than my toilet at home. The Zohan is watching Brokeback Mountain - that should be interesting. Amber’s boys are having farting competitions and Amber is begging to be let out of her Man Cave. SO, perhaps it is time to go home.

We have to say that the learning curve on the RV rental thingy is steep and we are no longer Virgins. But it was not gentle!! Especially for a first time. So here are some tips for those of you brave enough to follow in our footsteps. Oh by the way we are already plotting the next trip. I’ve already stated up front: the Class A RV all the way for Princess Five Star. I have serious RV envy.

Tip 1: You need to be a minimalist to be an RVer. There is just simply not enough space to store any thing but the bare essentials. Certainly no space for art, tchochkes, or any miscellaneous kind of decorating. There is however space for magnetic poetry (if you were smart enough to bring it).

Tip 2. You need to really, really love your family and travel friends. If not I couldn’t imagine how you would survive this kind of trip at all. You can not be shy. It will get personal. Very personal.

Tip 3. You need to let it all go. If it is important to you that your kids and yourself are clean and well maintained at all times Rv’ing is NOT for you. Same applies to all the OCD clean freak types out there. Let it go or don’t go. This was a HUGE lesson for me.

Tip 4. You will gain weight. Seriously. All you do all day is sit in your RV while going from place to place planning the next meal, scouting out supermarkets and making contingency plan upon contingency plan in case there is no supermarket. You would think Amber was Jewish.

Tip 5. Not all campsites are created equally. So check and double check. Ask around. There must be websites out there like trip advisor for RV sites. Currently we are in a beautiful lakeside location after opting out of the working Bison Ranch. However, we are being massacred by giant mosquitoes from the artificial lake! Whose bright idea was this?

Tip 6. Your kids will love every campsite you go to no matter what. As long as there is a mini-golf course they are set. Children are just AMAZING! Nothing fazes them. Not dirt, not eating cereal 3 times a day, not mosquitoes, not being beaten up by their dad, not the farting in each other faces, nothing, nothing.

Tip 7. If you are rigid, uptight and inflexible or if anyone in your party is then perhaps RVing is not for you. Life is not static. Go with the flow. Even this uptight person knows that. Make a plan and be prepared to change it.

Tip 8. If you have just spent too much time with any one in your family then get out of your RV and go and sit in the other one. It really works. We have had more combinations than Bennett’s Rubik’s cube.

Tip 9. When all else fails go into the bathroom and call a friend or your sister. Vomit out your RV frustrations and move on. They will still love you.

Tip 10. Make sure your RV has air conditioning, a working can opener, at least one pot, working equipment, no leaky showers, and a good wooden stick that can unclog the loo is absolutely essential.

Tip 11. If you don’t like nature go on a different holiday. Perhaps a cruise is more appropriate for you. If you don’t like America or Americans don’t go to Wyoming, Colorado, Nebraska, or South Dakota. They live there. The real Americans (Yes, Sarah Palin one thing we can agree with you on).

Tip 12. Try not to schedule your trip when you have your menstrual cycle. Trust me, it’s just not that convenient- miniscule bathroom, moving vehicle, you get the picture.

Tip 13. If you are an Internet junkie, or have, have to be in cell phone range at all times, the mountains and the Plains are not your friend. You will go mad. Ken and Amber can verify this. The trip to the ER was a great source of Internet happiness for both of them.

Tip 14. Bring more reading material; less clothes than you think you need, and half the amount of toiletries. Bathing is just not all that important after a while and every one around you smells the same. Sweaty, campfire smoke, bug spray, car exhaust fumes. It’s just beautiful.

Tip 15. You might not sleep well for the first 2 nights, but after that sheer exhaustion will set in, the motion of the car will send you back to a womb like state and you will snore, your partner will snore, even your kids will snore.

Tip 16. Call us if you need more advice. This has been a fun experience blogging. Amber will continue with her own personal blog, I am going back to obscurity. Thank you all for your wonderful comments, email and friendship.

Love, Tali

Spearfish Resort to Hot Springs Anti-Resort

2009-08-12T21:22:00.001-07:00

Today Tali and I sadly waved goodbye to the Spearfish resort and drove off to Mount Rushmore and the Crazy Horse Memorial. Mount Rushmore was amazing, amazingly hot, and amazingly crowded. The memorial really tries to capitalize on American patriotism but I kept thinking about how some men are so desperate to make a mark on history that they risk their lives climbing tall mountains or spend a large part of their life carving up tall mountains. I just don’t understand how this guy got the idea to carve up a mountain in the middle of the Black Hills of South Dakota. I found it fascinating that there is even a time capsule in the mountain with a history of America and, of course, an account of how Borglum, the sculptor, created his masterpiece. I also learned that Mount Rushmore is not complete, a fact I did not know. And George Washington’s nose is 21 feet long, one foot longer that all the other ones. I also learned that Ken is a master RV driver now, because he was able to back out of our parking spot, maneuvering our behemoth within inches of the other Rv’s and cars without hitting or even touching another vehicle. It was only a four-point back-up too. No space to do a u-turn there but we did manage to go out the in driveway by accident. The Zohan did not follow us on that one. I am 100% certain that many vehicles receive dents from this Disneyland-like parking lot.

Tali has many more facts on Mount Rushmore since she purchased a book and absorbed all the info already.

Words defy how crazy visiting the Crazy Horse monument was. The monument itself is really interesting to see in person and the story behind it’s inception and sculptor, especially when contrasted with Mt. Rushmore, is fascinating. The crazy part was that we saw someone we knew there. If you could pick the person you would most want to avoid running into in the entire world, a person incredibly unpleasant and litigious (I am trying to be fair here), that’s who we saw. Luckily Ken spotted him before he spotted us. Ken donned his best disguise; baseball hat, sunglasses, and old t-shirt, (oh wait, that’s what he had on anyway) and slinked around avoiding him. I managed to get a picture with both Ken and this person, who shall remain un-named because he is litigious. If you know Ken, you can guess who this person was especially if I tell you the initials: T.M. Ken spent much of the rest of the day marveling at the crazy odds of this chance encounter.

Having changed our original route yet again (RV tip: have a plan, but know you are going to change it), we headed south from Crazy Horse and decided to stay at the KOA in Hot Springs SD to cut down the mileage we need to travel the next day toward Cheyenne. Hot Springs is hot but there is no spring, at least that we could figure out. There was a pool and minigolf, and a $1.99 all you can eat pancake breakfast. There was no internet or cell reception. There were German tourists and assorted fellow kampers from Connecticut, Washington, Minnesota, and Colorado, who did not get along together at all when faced with taking turns with the two washers and dryers at the kampsite.
The Internet connection in Hot Springs, SD

Girl stuff in Crazy Horse

There was a spa here however, which you can see from the picture Bennett enjoyed very much.

When faced with making hamburgers for nine people for dinner without a grill, I went to work. I found Cliff, the older man who I think manages the place, and asked about the possibility of finding a way to cook outside our Rvs. He thought there might be one around the kampsite, and after a slow-paced conversation during which he was thinking about where it might be, he said he would go out and look for it and bring it to the kampsite. A short while later I watched him drive slowly down the three isles of kampsites on his Gator, looking for the grill made from the rim of an old tire. Sure enough, it was shortly delivered to our site and The Zohan got busy grilling burgers.

Funny Rv Moments by Amber & Tali

2009-08-12T19:53:00.000-07:00

Funny Zohan Moments
Driving near Devils Tower, there is a large prairie dog colony on either side of the road. Apparently the Zohan has never seen such things. He shrieked in a very un-zohan like manner (I am not allowed to say "like a girl" but I heard what I heard) and exclaimed, “There are otters all around me!”

There is a tombstone in Deadwood that reads “I told you I was sick.” The Zohan says his gravestone will read, “It was a black bear.”

Funny Ken Moments
Ken does at least one U-turn per day in the RV, forcing the Zohan behind him to also do a u-turn. Ken’s favorite factoid of the trip is that Cody WY has such wide streets because Buffalo Bill laid out the streets so that six horses and a wagon could turn around. It turns out this is the same amount of space required for an RV to turn as well.

Ken and his constant cleaning up and reorganizing in the RV has now driven even the kids nutso as we cannot find anything. If you put it somewhere, it has been moved in the last 12 hours and you have to ask Ken where it is. This is maddening when everything you have is in 200 square feet. And they make fun of me (Tali) being OCD!

Ken and the Zohan can have one hour analytical conversations about which route to take. They derive endless pleasure analyzing the road, the conditions, and the overall plan. Another sign that women should rule. There are two ways to get there. Just Pick one.

Funny Bennett Moments
Before this trip he didn’t know the Levy family at all. Now he says feels he knows them almost too well.

Funny Ronan Moments
One morning Ronan went into the Levy RV, took off his shirt, and demanded that Dani give him a massage. She didn’t want to do it. He kept asking her. She declined. So he tried Alex. He declined. Ronan announced “I’m not going to do anything until I get a massage.” He sat in the Levy RV without his shirt, waiting, for about an hour until something else distracted him.

Ronan has also completely memorized the Southwest Rap he saw on YouTube and recites it at funny times, for example, on the bus to the Cody Rodeo where people are not accustomed to any kind of rap music, especially from a little white boy with enormous green eyes.

Funny Kieran Moments

This is only funny to Tali, not to Amber
Poor starving Kieran. Can’t get enough food. He is so sweet about it too. He waits until everyone is almost finished or finished and then very politely asks if he can have the left-overs. If we go to a restaurant, he orders the largest meal he possibly can and then finishes up everyone else’s. Amber is trying as hard as she can but I think she is in for a huge teenage boy appetite surprise in the next year or so. Costco and military style buffet lines will be her new best friend.

Funny Dani Moments
Wrapping Bennett around her finger and insisting he become her personal robot for the day. She says it so sweetly with such a cute smile that he obliges and thinks it might be nice to have a little sister.

Funny Alex Moments
Poor, starving Alex. He points out each Dairy Queen we pass. If his meal does not involve a plain hamburger patty or a slice of cheese he is not eating.

Funny Tali Moment
When in all seriousness she looked at the Zohan and said, “Rob, why don’t we own an RV park?” It must have been temporary insanity.

Deadwood is...Dead

2009-08-10T20:09:00.000-07:00

After another long, long, long day of driving from Cody to South Dakota we find ourselves in a very fancy (I can't believe these words are coming from moi), clean, well organized R.V. Park. The kids were thrilled to get out the car! They just scattered all over the place. It was so sad that it was funny.

We had a slight gas situation toward the end of our journey - no not that kind! The kind that you see the little light go on, and you know in your heart that you are going to spend Sunday night on the side of the road in Aladdin, Wyoming becasue your gas station attendant is at one of the 4 churches that serve the population of 50 (no joke); and anyway who needs gas on a Sunday except some stupid out-of-towner who didn't think ahead blah blah blah. A lot of praying, encouraging the Minnie, and some driving on nuetral down the hills we made it to the only gas station that was open on a Sunday. Ah, the power of positive thinking...

Today we visited Deadwood. And the Zohan and I are disappointed. I must watch too much T.V. becasue this was not an old Western mining town. This was a tourist trap of the highest order. Kevin Costner owns most of the town and it's gambling revenue. But we found Jews. Yes, lots of them. The little town of Deadwood had a large and extremely prosperous Jewish community. In fact the Jews are buried in the cemetery along with Wild Bill Hickcock and Calamity Jane, while the Catholics were banned and sent to another part of town. The largest home in the town (which is now a museum) belonged to a Jewish family (Finkelstein who became Finkel). Other than that and the two-headed calf (we kid you not) it was truly a disappointment. Not much going on unless you are into corny, fake saloons, slot machines and lots of Hollywood paraphenilia - clothes from movies, cars etc.,

After Deadwood we made our way over to Sturgis where we walked around and watched people packing up the remnants of the motor cycle rally. Ken bargained hard for his already very discounted T-shirts, and the very high strung lady actually obliged him. Why am I not surprised?? The Zohan has fallen in love with the Honda Gold -Wing. He must think I am 20 or something and I have to keep on reminding him that no I am NOT spending my vacations sitting on the back of a bike, no matter how tricked out it is. Alex and Ronan are lobbying hard for the position.

In all it was a fun day - Martha-Amber made fantastic grilled cheese and then proceeded to stick a pan to the picnic table. We laughed so hard I almost fell off my plastic picnic table seat. Ken to the rescue!! We only broke one plate today - the apple connector located above our heads made a spot on landing when we took a hard turn. More laughter. At this point I am getting nervous about Wayne the RV guy and having to explain the state of our RV's. I'm sending Rob and Dan in. Amber and I are going to hide out in the super shuttle with the kids (holding them hostage to keep them silent). Tomorrow Mount Rushmore. Wahoo!!

Deadwood SD or RVs Should Come With Hot Pads

2009-08-10T20:06:00.000-07:00

The day started with one exceedingly sleep-deprived, hungry and grumpy 9 year old. He spent the drive to Deadwood impersonating someone dead by laying in the very back of the RV, still in his pajamas, desperately wanting some alone time and trying to get as far away from everyone as possible. Not so easy with nine people in one vehicle but he managed.

By the time we took our tour of Deadwood, he had a smile on his face. Of course, it took a completely crazed tourguide with a joke a second (thank god no Walmart jokes) and a severe case of verbal diarrhea. Just the sort of thing Ronan loves.

I met the nicest local resident, a man who was just walking back through town from his daily hike, who stopped to chat and tell me how great Deadwood is. He lives in an old house that was once occupied by the first woman doctor in the town, who treated many a gunshot wound. He feels he is a caretaker of history. He made my day.

I have to admit that I don't think I ever even heard of Deadwood before, and I've never seen the TV series. I had no idea what it was we were going to see. We checked out the celebrity museum owned by Kevin Costner, which I found so misplaced, something you would find in Hollywood. I was thrilled to see Herbie the Bug though, and the boys loved the baseball jersey from Field of Dreams. Just strange to see it in Deadwood SD. We ate lunch at the restaurant just above the casino/museum and I have to say we could have done better eating a bowl of cereal from the RV. Oh well. All around, it was a fun place to visit and I found the connection to the Hearst Family and Hearst Castle interesting as we were just there this summer as well. I got the distinct feeling that if you really want to see Deadwood, you don't bring your children with you.

We toured from there to Sturgis, which has just emptied out, to buy a T shirt for my dad. He's always wanted to go to Sturgis, and I think after having visited this little town with a whole lot of garbage to clean up, I think it could be pretty fun. Even just to people-watch. Kieran came up with the idea to bring his grandpa back to Sturgis in an A Class RV. What do you think Dad? I know a nice RV park. Sorry, your pop-up tailer is not going to work here.

After a swim and a soak in the hot tub back at the RV park, I cooked grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner and brought the last one to the table in the frying pan. We have no hot pads, and Dan had to use his underwear to carry a hot plate from the convection oven to the table too. Unfortunately, the hot pan then became one with the picnic table made of composite material. We had a good laugh but then Tali freaked when I told her it was the frying pan from her RV. She is afraid of Wayne the RV guy. The frypan was melted to the table, and I could not get it off. Ken to the rescue! He came out and whacked it off the table with a piece of wood. This was a tough day for our equipment. A plate also bit the dust when the power cord from my computer fell from it's lofty position above the table (who the hell thought to put a plug there?).

Just then some FANCY Harley dudes came rumbling in to the RV park. They looked over at us sitting at our picnic table with distain. Tali said they must think we are white trash. I told her we are. She said they shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. Then the Zohan said you shouldn't judge an RV by it's slide-outs either.
Our high-class RV park neighbors

We hate to leave this awesome RV park but tomorrow we are off to see Mount Rushmore and learn about the crazy egotistical megalomaniac that created it on land considered sacred by the Native Americans. Should be interesting to explain to the kids.

Cody to Spearfish SD

2009-08-09T22:07:00.000-07:00

Hallelujah!

We have found the Four Seasons of RV parks! It's Elkhorn Ridge RV Park in Spearfish South Dakota. There is grass, more space between parking spots, landscaping, and even artwork!! There are at least 15 full size bronze sculptures around the grounds. There is a pool, nice showers, and a camp shop that sells wine. WOW!!

There are over 300 spots in this RV park and they were all occupied last week since it is so close to Sturgis. This week, there are a few remainders from Sturgis and that's about it. Close to our spot, there is quite the setup with a custom A-class, a tent, several semi trucks and various trailers, all with matching custom paint jobs. All the boys started drooling, even the old ones. The young ones all went over to check it out, peering in the windows, noting the make and model of all equipment, and keeping a three foot perimeter because they swear there are motion detectors attached to the tires of the Class A motorhome. After dark they got out flashlights and circled the Man Toy area again, to see if they could learn more. One of the boys told me there was a bar set up in the tent. I thought, if Carmen was here, she'd figure out how to get invited in there in no time. I might have to try my luck tomorrow if they are still here.

One of the unexpected things that happened today was Devils Tower. I had no idea how cool this place would be. It was well worth almost completely running out of gas in an area that has gas stations that are certainly NOT open on Sundays.

Motorhome tip: keep track of your days. If it is Sunday, plan ahead with your food and gas purchases. Many retail establishments are not open and simply don't care if you are not observing a day of rest with everyone else.

Amber's Take on Cody WY

2009-08-09T21:41:00.001-07:00

Ugg.

Too touristy in a really cheesy Buffalo Bill sort of way.

Except for the museum, which was one of the best I've been to anywhere, and we are wondering how in the world it was funded. Dan guesses some sort of congressional pork-barrel favor. It is truly stunning. It is like the Louvre of the west. Really.

And I am really lusting after the $7,500 handmade cowboy boots I saw in Cody.
These are not the boots I saw for sale, these are in the museum, but I'd wear these too!

As for the rodeo, I can't be a good judge because I grew up across the street from two different horse ranches. Believe it or not, it was nothing new or novel and definitely not romantic to me. They didn't even have rocky mountain oysters at the concession stand. Only Bud Lite.

Sorry Cody. Sorry KOA with the $2.00 pancake breakfast. Sorry Cody Nite Rodeo with the excess of Walmart jokes.

NEXT!!

Please don't show this to any orthopedist, we just can't keep Kieran still!

Fashionable RV Co-pilot Footwear

2009-08-09T21:30:00.000-07:00

Both Tali and I have adopted this new style of footwear that is oh-so-IT for the RV parks. And practical too. Perfect in almost every way, except for the rain.

Cody and the Rodeo

2009-08-09T21:22:00.000-07:00

Cody is great. I think the Buffalo Bill Historical Museum is phenomenal. The exhibit on the Plains Indians is the best I have ever seen in any museum ever. The Buffalo Bill artifacts are incredible. The Zohan was drooling over B. Bill’s Vacheron Contstatin gold watch, which is priceless (if you could even find one today), and is causally placed beneath a flimsy piece of plexiglas. Perhaps they just don’t realize the value.

Here is my summary of the rodeo – in which I will re-tell three jokes that were played by the rodeo clown and the announcer. It sums it all up. Forget about the bulls, the cowboys/girls, even the crowd, or the nasty, ornery, bitchy male bus driver….

Joke # 1:

Announcer: “Have you seen that movie Brokeback Mountain?”

Crowd: Laughs and Boos

Clown: Do you know what they eat on Brokeback Mountain??

Clown: In a mean, sarcastic and very put on flamboyant voice – “ The eat haaaaayyy”

Crowd: Laughing and cheering

Levy/Shaw Family: Silent

Joke # 2:

Announcer: Introducing the cowboys and explaining the names of the bulls they are on, so he starts complaining to the clown – “They no longer give Bulls mean names any more, no more Evil person’s, no more devil references or Nancy Pelosi”

Levy/Shaw Family: Silent

Joke # 3:

The clown is running around the arena, which is very dusty and full of bull poop. He keeps picking up his shoes and the announcer asks him what he is checking for

Clown: “I’m just making sure that I am not stepping in it”

Announcer: “Stepping in what?”

Clown: “Obama’s Stimulus package!”

Crowd: Laughing and applauding

Levy/Shaw Family: Silent

Things are falling apart…literally

2009-08-09T20:53:00.000-07:00

While Kieran was having his arm/wrist cast, Rob and I were hunting down the Virginian Lodge in Jackson Hole looking for Wayne, RV repairman extraordinaire. Part of the reason we couldn’t find him was because I couldn’t understand his accent on the phone while he was giving me directions. Usually it’s the other way around. We found him along with what has to be the nicest, most expensive RVs we’ve seen yet. It was time to fix the leaky shower. After much drilling, pulling things apart and general mayhem (observed by all children) Wayne declare that there was NO leak. Of course! I insisted he look further and one was located on the outside shower. How that caused water to roll around on the inside of our RV. I still haven’t figured out. Rob had him check out a bunch of small other things, and we were back on the road.

Amber’s toilet clogged up again! And she declared that she missed double ply toilet paper. I am teaching her the beauty of the baby wipe! Ken had a small parking mishap with another car, I managed to rip the storage locker off the wall (good strength and conditioning coach!), Ronan broke the screen door, the pop up window in our cab is busted, and the curtains (ha!) are all torn and falling apart. We are officially trash.

However, while all our RVs are experiencing various issues, we are all getting in to the groove of being on the road. We have lost all sense of time and days. I can’t believe that we are halfway through this adventure already. Amber and I find ourselves cracking up over the smallest things and we are having fun. The children are definitely enjoying themselves. I think they would all like to permanently live in an RV world. Ken is sleeping more and more. And I have stopped fantasizing about out my bed at home. Somewhat.

The drive from Yellowstone to Cody includes the most beautiful road in America. The Shoshone National Park is incredible. The Abroska Mountain range is magnificent. In fact I am limited in adjectives and words to describe the beauty of the road. Leaving Yellowstone we got to see bison fighting over other bison (female), bears, elk and various other creatures. The meadows interspersed with the forest, and small little streams are just stunning.

So How Much Is Our Collision Deductible Anyway?

2009-08-07T19:40:00.000-07:00

Yellowstone to Cody WY

We did not hit a buffalo. Although we were so close to one I could touch it from the passenger seat, no joke. We were RV #1 in a buffalo jam twice today, as these animals, as big as a car, casually crossed the road. We were all screaming, as we thought one was going to ram the RV. Those buffalo, they don't smell too good. There were four big males trying to impress a female, and they were snorting and grumpy and took no notice of the road or the cars. Just trying to get laid.

No, we didn't hit a buffalo, we hit another car. Ken cut it a little close in a jammed parking lot for the upper falls lookout. We took out our lug nuts, or at least I thought we did. Turns out it was our hubcap and a large scrape around the side. The dented hubcab left us sometime later in the day. The car we, ahem, rubbed against, sustained some damage to it's bumper. We left a note and had to explain to the kids why this was the right thing to do, rather than hitting the gas and taking off as fast as we could. Which we thought about.

Last night I hit a low point. Our toilet was clogged again. I was tired of the pure testosterone and gaseous emissions (it's the elevation, everyone claims) in my rolling man cave. I put some ear plugs in, and went to bed at about 9:00 pm, and slept great. No snoring, no creaking gravel with late-night arrivals or departures to the camp (oh, sorry RESORT), no thunder and loud rain on a metal roof.

Today we had a beautiful drive through the east side of Yellowstone. We saw herds of bison and a black bear. When we got to the northeastern gate, the beginnings of a lighting-thunder-rain-hail storm arrived. We heard just two hours later there was an emergency warning on the radio warning of severe weather including ground-based lightening, golf-ball size hail and very strong winds in that area. We stayed ahead of the storm through the Shoshone National Forest, some gorgeous landscape, and up and over the Dead Indian Pass, down into Cody.

We pulled into the KOA Kampground and the kids tumbled out of the RVs and starting running all over exploring. I headed to the bathrooms to see what they are like and noticed a sign: there is an all you can eat pancake breakfast for $2.00 per person. CHA-CHING!! This kampground is going to loose big money on our group. We can eat a lot more than $2 worth of pancake batter and syrup, even the fake stuff. They should pay us $2.00 per person NOT to go to the breakfast.

The Zohan announced this is his favorite kampground so far. I look perplexed at the same lines of RVs cozied up right next to each other. He says with genuine excitement, "This one has grass!" We have learned to appreciate the small things. The Zohan made a quick dinner of sloppy joe pasta which we had to cook utilizing both RVs, and to his surprise and delight there was not one wagon-wheel piece of pasta left over. Due to the rain, all nine of us sat in one RV and ate together.

As the rain catches up with us and progresses from sprinkles to real rain, the kids absolutely insist, after being thwarted for five nights, that they WILL build a fire and we WILL have s'mores for dinner. We realize we cannot stop them. To our amazement, they stay outside for quite a while, talking to each other at the top of their lungs, trying to get something going. We hear one of the older boys say, "I've got an idea!" Then Dani's voice, "No!! You will catch the RV on fire!" Dan jumped up so fast and flew out the door, I don't even think he stopped to put his shoes on. Much to our surprise they did get a fire started with damp wood, damp cardboard, fire-starter sticks and a lot of paper towels. Tali and I had the most delicious s'more delivered to us in the RV. We politely refused to join the very happy kampers outside in the rain.

Our toilet is still clogged. I have been encouraging Dan to stroll around the RV park and start chatting our fellow kampers up, and casually just ask how to unclog a toilet. I'm sure they've all experienced the problem. For some reason, he is refusing to take my advice. The guy next to us, in the biker gear with two beautiful Harleys in a very nice trailer (I caught a glimpse when he went to give them a good night kiss), drinking a beer from a real glass, with ice cubes, I'm certain he would be receptive to a toilet conversation. Dan keeps saying, "I will deal with it tomorrow." Maybe whoever we sit next to at the pancake breakfast will have some good advice.

While this kampground does have free wifi, it is painfully slow, so the fantastic buffalo pictures will be delayed until I can find something faster. I will look for the local emergency room tomorrow.

Jackson Hole, Again

2009-08-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning hoping that the entire day yesterday was one bad dream. Then I looked over at my son, sound asleep, with a cast on his arm and knew it was not.

Dan had been up since dawn, doing laundry in the coin-op machines, banging out emails that will be delivered when we go back to Jackson. He is our family’s fluff & fold. In Jackson, we are planning to stop by the hospital emergency waiting room to send email, upload to the blog, and pick up the CD with the x-rays. The hospital is very nice, with very clean bathrooms and very handsome doctors. I might stay there.

But how to make an appointment with the orthopedist? We are 60 miles from cell or internet. So Dan and I walk together to the payphone phone booth at our "resort." We look at each other and laugh, as neither of us has used a coin operated phone in years. We both go in the phone booth, feed in coins, make the call to make the doctor’s appointment. It is rather romantic, the first time we are alone on the trip. Then Dan passes gas, jumps out, and holds the door closed so I can’t get out. Our screaming (mine) laughter (Dan’s) causes more stares from our fellow campers. I am sure they think we are complete lunatics. Actually we are.

We are all piled up in the Levy’s RV for the return trip to Jackson. Tali is telling buffalo jokes, Dan is doing more email, Zohan is driving, Alex is hoping for a cheeseburger, Ronan and Dani are playing Old Maid, and Bennett is reading his third or fourth book of the trip. Kieran is wondering what color cast he should get and starting to realize that this might affect him playing tournament baseball this fall. I am plotting how to get Tali into the Million Dollar Cowboy Bar and on one of the saddle barstools for a picture. Tali is plotting how to get back to the Four Seasons because it bugs the shit out of her that she was 100 yards away from it but didn’t get to go in.

The next update is dependent on finding internet access. But now I know. Park the RV just outside the local hospital emergency room.

Rv Woes, A Broken Wrist and Other Stories

2009-08-06T13:50:00.000-07:00

Who knew that the hospital in Jackson Hole has the best, free Wifi in the entire town?

Today has been a long, long day. One filled with both humor and pain. Interesting people and Poo. Lots of Poo.

As is typical on this trip Ken wakes up at the crack of dawn and wanders the camp-site. Usually I see him on the way back from one of his walking circles. This morning was no different. We had planned to get into one RV and drive to Jackson Hole – Mostly to introduce me to one of the few Four Seasons I have never stayed at (Well Duh! Snow plus Tali equal Snow. Tali out of the equation). And to take the tram to the top of the mountain, do a little retail therapy, and re-stock the kitchen.

The Zohan sits in the front of our cab ready to ride. Amber brings over enough photographic equipment for a modeling shoot, and Dan is still running around in his cab in his undies! I wander over to see why it is taking a man, who has been up 3 hours more than the rest of us, so long to get ready. I think nothing of it when he asks me to hop over to the other side of his RV and turn the water on. 10 seconds later a giant scream emerges from their RV and a figure that looks much like Amber goes flying, flying out of the RV screaming in a maniacial manner and disappears around the side of our RV. Oh, she is holding a cup of coffee which she doesn’t let go of, nor does she spill a single drop! Dan is laughing hysterically, the kids are cracking up and the entire side of our camp-ground is silently watching us lunatics. The source of all this drama – POO or in the RV world Black Water!

Turns out their day started out with a clogged toilet due to some over enthusiastic use of toilet paper. Nothing that a little elbow grease and the back end of a $4.00 broomstick couldn’t take care of. After clearing the clog, Dan (in a very unlike Ken way) mixed up his hoses, and well the end result was a Black Water RV back up, in an Old Faithful geyser sort of way through the kitchen sink. Poor Amber. She was so intensely skeeved out (and as a clean freak she gathered loads of sympathy from me!!) She promptly declared that she was NEVER EVER going to drink the water from her RV again (what you mean you were??)

After yelling at Dan and accusing him of introducing E. Coli into their RV; some vigorous Clorox wipe use and Ken back on board she calmed down and managed to have a good laugh about it all. But wouldn’t go back in there. The problem was quickly fixed. Throughout this entire drama The Zohan never moved from the front seat of his cab, where he calmly sat with his seatbelt on. He watched and refused to go over and help Dan because, and here I quote “ the last thing you want to do is get between another man and his shit” Besides we had had our own RV issues this morning….

Our shower is leaking. Water and gross fake nylon carpet don’t go well together. The smell is borderline gagging. Then our propane leak detector went off and after that the CO2 detector went off causing in my entire family to evacuate our cab in half a second.

At that point I just shut down and Bennett who was sitting with me looks at me and very innocently asks, “why are you so calm and my mom is freaking out?” I asked him to imagine what it would be like if both of us freaked out at the same time. I don’t think his brain could even comprehend that.

We arrived in Jackson Hole and went straight to the Grand Teton Village where Amber made a direct beeline for the Four Seasons Hotel. Please note: Amber not Princess Five Star. Tali and the rest of the crew go up the mountain to enjoy the magnificent view, and to watch adrenaline junkies (crazy people) parasail, or wind-glide off 11,000 feet. Amber enjoys a quite coffee. After lunch Dan and his boys decided to say behind, so that he could download his e-mail and they could mountain bike the ski slopes. The rest of us were off to do other things.

Note from Amber: Tali failed to mention our search for a full service laundry facility, known as fluff & fold in our part of the world but not in Jackson, the drop-off of Levy family linens, and the worry to pick it up before the laundry closed. All in between a massive grocery shopping trip and the other excitement of the day. We also managed to fit in a trip to get the RV repaired, and some of our group witnessed a paraglider accident that we were all sure resulted in a death. Who knew we’d later be in the room next to him in the ER a short while later? He survived.

So here’s the deal when you have three athletic adventurous boys. Stuff happens. Bones happen. Stress is placed on the parental units. Doctors make money. Emergency rooms are kept busy. And RV trips be damned. Nothing stands in the way of an 11 year old boy. Kieran meets the mountain and his bike, and then he meets the ground – well his wrist does and then poor Amber has her second meltdown of the day. A trip to the hospital to confirm the inevitable. A temporary cast. And one very brave, very cool, very cute Kieran emerges with a smile.

Later when she was back to her normal happy self she confessed that one of the first (and she admits irrational thoughts) that crossed her mind was that, unable to return to our campsite near Yellowstone, she was going to have to sleep (along with her entire family) in our RV in Jackson Hole. That scared her more than the broken wrist. (Should I have been offended by that comment??). I assured her that the good friend that I was, I would have given them our RV and hoofed it back to the Four Seasons Hotel which I had still not seen.

The very late and long drive back to Yellowstone was filled with a near-miss, our RV versus a waipiti. An incredibly amazing lighting storm. Ken in a power coma up top and 5 very tired children.

We arrived back at our campsite and were just settled into bed when an impressive thunder, lightening and heavy rain storm descended on our little rolling homes. It was a dramatic end to a dramatic day.

In another blog I will write about Wayne the RV fix-it- Man at the Jackson Hole RV park. The leaking shower, that is not really leaking. Mosquito bites, and all the other fun stuff that T & A are experiencing on this trip.

Tomorrow we will be back in Jackson Hole for a trip to the orthopedist, a permanent cast, and to properly walk around the town of Jackson.

Yellowstone by the Numbers

2009-08-05T18:19:00.000-07:00

Post by Tali
Number of vans needed to take us around Yellowstone: 1
Number of people in van: 10
Number of times we got in and out of said van: 20
Number of times we rearranged seating: 3
Number of times Dan fell into a power coma: 3
Number of times we have called Yellowstone Yosemite: 5
Number of times we called Amber “Teacher Amber”: all day
Number of times we visited Shrek’s bathroom (geothermal hotspots): 25
Number of times we saw Old Faithful erupt: 1
Number of good cups of coffee: 0
Number of times Tali looked for cell phone reception: 275
Number of times the Zohan lost his cool: 0
Number of times the Zohan looked for cell phone reception: 0 (I can’t believe it)
Number of questions “Teacher Amber” asked The Marlboro Man – Tom: A million
Number of different animals seen: buffalo, elk, deer, white pelican, Canadian geese, ground squirrels, yellow-bellied marmots.
Number of times we argued whether the Bear we saw was a Grizzly or a Black Bear: Still On-going

Overall it was an amazing day. Long and tiring but great fun. I was slightly depressed to return to our RV that has now taken on the odor of a very wet and dirty rug due to a leaking shower. More about that and other RV issues in the next post.

Day 4 Yellowstone Tour

2009-08-05T18:09:00.001-07:00

This is our big extravagance, an all day guided tour of Yellowstone. We meet our guide Tom, an agreeable deeply tanned modern day cowboy in Wranglers with an impressive knowledge of the park and a seemingly limitless patience, which is more than we can say for the nine of us in the van. We start out needing to rearrange all the kids, as they seemed to choose an arrangement that caused too much poking, bossing, arguing and general grumpiness. I was quite glad to be in the front passenger seat chatting to Tom and asking him every question I could think of about Yellowstone. Dan sat in the back, dosing, enjoying the scenery and not driving.

Yellowstone is an overwhelmingly huge place with so many unusual and interesting things to see. It is stunningly beautiful and incredibly varied. From Old Faithful to the sulphorous pools to the waterfalls and wildlife, the rivers, lakes, meadows, and ancient volcanic activity, it threatens to overpower the senses. It is a lot to absorb. Thanks to Tom, we didn’t have to figure out where to stop or wait for a parking place when we got there. We didn’t have to pack our own lunch or look at our watches. It was great.

It was also a whole lot of togetherness. We got back to our Rvs and just chilled out for a bit before heading off to the restaurant for dinner. During dinner, the lightening and thunder started. Weather, real weather! As we walked back to our rolling man cave and listened to the rain on the roof, we were very glad to be in a warm, dry Rv instead of a tent.

My favorite sayings from Tom:
If you want to take the long way around the barn
Translation: if you want the long answer
A fly that broke the sound barrier
Translation: A way to describe eruptions (not from the earth, from Dan)
Going to check the weather
Translation: Going to visit the restroom

Day 3 Rawlings to Flagg Ranch near Yellowstone

2009-08-05T16:54:00.000-07:00

Post delayed due to lack of cell or internet connection

Leaving Rawlins, little did I know we’d be leaving one of the nicest bathrooms we would see in a while. We rattled and bounced our way along an upward sloping, desolate landscape with semis, motorcycles, and other Rvs. No trees, no towns, no gas stations, just a long stretch of road. Bennett rode shotgun the whole day, with Dan as driver and captive audience. They chatted or were quiet but were together, and Bennett declined to give up his position the entire day. We stopped in a windswept, dusty, ramshackle, solitary gas station. We stopped at the one point of interest in this area, the Tree In the Rock, where the only tree in the area is growing out of a large rock.

We passed through the Wind River reservation, where the land began to change into a more interesting landscape of glacier-carved mesas and red soil. Still not a sign of human occupation other than the road itself. Then we joined the Wind River, and the wind. Very windy, very aptly named. Soon we were joined by trees, striking because of the utter absence of them in the landscape before.

And then, a town. Named Dubois (pronounced “do boys”) famous for it’s giant stuffed jackalope with a saddle where you can climb up and have your picture taken. I insisted on stopping. I needed pictures of the jackalope, Tali needed coffee, and the RV needed gas. Again.

From there it was a long, slow, very bumpy ride along some gravel road with a tour of a massive highway project complete with huge dump trucks with tires almost as big as our RV, cranes, and curiously, a very large truck unloading a full load of very large Styrofoam blocks. Could they be jackalope traps? Over a high pass and across the continental divide, and we could see the Tetons in the distance.

Finally we entered Grand Teton National Park, adjacent to Yellowstone, and proceeded to our campground. More construction delays and then, just before our turnoff, a bear right near the road! Those in our Rv saw a grizzly, quite large. Those in the other RV saw a juvenile black bear. I got a picture just as the bear was turning around and leaving. The grizzly vs. black bear debate continues.

Our campsite, Flagg Ranch Resort, is nice. It has trees and more space between the Rvs. We cannot for the life of us figure out why it is called a resort. It is decidedly not resort-like. Also, there is no cell phone reception and no internet. No posting to the blog from here, no connection for Dan to his office. We are really out in the woods here. We did not anticipate being in such an isolated area, and a mild panic sets in for Dan. He has calls, voice mails piling up, projects that need his active participation. Bravely, he realizes that there is nothing he can do about it for a day or two. I can’t gauge if he feels liberated or terror-stricken. Or both.

The very first thing Bennett and Kieran do is walk to the store and buy some firewood. They start building up wood in our fire pit, enough to make a bonfire, really. They are asked to scale back and reluctantly do so. As we eat dinner, Tali attempts to kill every mosquito in the area with her hands and laments how Dani keeps getting dirty. Alex has eaten very little all day and misses his favorite cheeseburgers. Everyone is a little grumpy and a little tired and there is no escaping each other and no grocery store within at least 60 miles. I wonder, again, if she will surmount these new challenges or if we will find her hitchhiking to the Four Seasons in Jackson Hole. We cook our dessert over the fire, bananas in the peel, split and stuffed with chocolate chips, wrapped in foil, and warmed over the fire, and call it a night.

Day Two, Estes Park to Rawlings Wyoming

2009-08-02T20:16:00.000-07:00

Lots of driving, lots of "Mom, Dad, this is the best trip EVER, I love this RV, I want to live in one," lots of dudes on motorcycles on the highway. A pilgrammage to Whole Foods in Fort Collins to buy wild salmon.

The person who made our RV reservations, the five-star princess, committed us to stay in a place that looks like a gravel mine on the moon. With other RVs parked on it. With, I must say, the nicest people.

Dan and I made a foray into town to buy briquettes and wine. I noticed in the store that people were staring at us. When I asked Dan about it, he said, "Amber. We have teeth."

As I am writing, we are having a "Beef Stew" contest in the RV amoung the brothers. Don't ask. Please. It does not involve beef of any kind. It involves involuntary inhalation of bodily emissions. Oh, sorry, you didn't ask.

Tonight we dined on wild salmon, oil-roasted potatoes, and warm peaches with brown sugar and rum. All cooked on a BBQ in a windy gravel area right next to the freeway. But my husband knows how to keep me happy, he accompanied me and served me Chardonnay in a big blue plastic cup. True love.

Tali has relaxed into the trip and is already talking about the next one. She is enforcing showers on her barely dirty children while I let mine wallow in the fact that they don't have to take one until tommorrow.

I am going to bed with dirty feet. It does kind of gross me out but I figure that the moment I step out of the RV in the morning, they are dirty again.

Despite the ghostly wind noise and the ghostly train noises, I'm so exhausted that I am going to sleep like I'm on Ambien tonight. I have some great photos, especially of the minigolf course at our RV park, but will have to post them in the morning.

Lessons Learned on the Road…and the Morning After

2009-08-02T15:25:00.000-07:00

Here are some things that I learned yesterday:

1. If your husband/The Zohan tells you that it is going to be a long hard day believe him. The Zohan is not often wrong.

2. You can learn a lot from a 12 year old. If your suitcase gets lost and you remain calm and serene it will all work out in the end –even if it means an extended shopping trip to the Super Target (yes, such a thing really exists).

3. If, after you have seen your RV home for the next 2 weeks you run screaming hysterically into the RV office and spew forth venom to the Zohan in Hebrew in front of Ken and Barbie – you will scare the hell out of them!! The guy behind the desk – not so much. He didn’t even look up.

4. If after you calm down you apologize to Ken, Barbie and the Zohan they will not only forgive you they will help you laugh at yourself, make fun of you in the nicest way and even try to convince you that it is not as bad as you think -even though it really is.

5. Once you get to the Super Target buying large quantities of Clorox wipes, disinfectant, new pillows (for the kids and the hubby. I was paranoid enough to bring my own) and blankets does help to alleviate some of the clean freak in you. But if I am being honest, not all. Some smells are permanently ingrained.

6. If after all of that you still feel unsure a Strawberry Margarita may help.

7. Once you make it to the campsite after a few small road and interior mishaps you and the Zohan might not be talking to each other.

8. If you are lying in your bed and you feel bugs crawling on you – THEY ARE!! And if you casually reach over and pick it up and show it to the hubby for analysis you know that you can make it through this adventure.

9. If you can’t sleep don’t worry Ken didn’t either. You can text him at 5:00 in the am and he will go for a walk with you and make you feel ok.

10. Then instinctively your good friend Amber will make you a great cup of coffee and share a campsite laugh with you.

11. A shower using high-end bath products pilfered from various Four Seasons Hotels will make a huge psychological difference. Even if you had to squat in said shower due to height constraints.

12. If you camp with a gourmet chef you will get eggs delivered to your RV with a smile and some blue eye shadow!

13. If you are 12, and have continued to remain calm and serene Southwest will find your Luggage and deliver it to your campsite!! Go Bennett.

We are now on our to Wyoming after a quick stop at the Fort Collins, CO Whole Foods for fortification. Colorado is BEAUTIFUL and the people here are REALLY, REALLY friendly.

RV Adventure, Day One

2009-08-02T08:48:00.000-07:00

We are here, in Estes Park.

I don’t even know where to start.

I slept for 20 minutes last night. I might be a little punchy today.

Yesterday: one short flight, one lost suitcase (thanks Southwest), one junk food lunch while waiting for suitcase, one shuttle ride to RV rental place, one meltdown in Hebrew, one tour of the operational parts of the motorhome, another meltdown (I think this one was in English), a stop at a liquor store, a long stop at Super Target for a very random selection of things including clothes and shoes for child with no suitcase, a stop for dinner, a bouncy slow drive in the dark, a hilarious several loops around the KOA campground looking for spots 24 and 26,

A figuring out of the toilet. Much using of the toilet, especially fun while moving. A sit-down while using toilet while moving rule instituted.

Whew, take a breath.

A late night phone call informing us the missing suitcase is located. Another phone call informing Southwest that they will deliver the suitcase to us at the KOA campground. A lot of waiting for the suitcase that is still not with us.

Wiping down of RV with Clorox wipes (Tali). Unpacking, stuffing things into the smallest possible nooks and crannies. Can’t remember where the stuff is. Much opening and closing of tiny nooks and crannies.

I was certain that I was going to wake up to find Tali gone, having abandoned her family, hitchhiking out on the freeway shouting “Take me to the nearest five star hotel!”

Instead, we got a text from her at 5:00 am asking if we were awake. After the buzzing Blackberry waking us up, we were. That ended my 20 minutes of sleep. Dan got up and did six laps of the RV park. He came back to report to me the amazing truck with the custom Elvis Lives paint job (it was impressive) and the big RV in the primo spot with a huge porch, complete with crockpot and watermelon. Later I walked by and chatted with her. I think she really likes watermelon, her nails were painted like little slices of watermelons, they looked really cool. I asked for advice on cooking RV-style. She gave me some excellent advice of getting a disposable grill at Walmart. Never knew there was such a thing.

Oh gosh the suitcase just arrived and we are ready to hit the road. The boys love riding above the cab, they will be happy up there the whole day.

This is a completely fake smile, don't let it fool you. She is freaking out.

You Are Wearing What?

2009-07-31T21:41:00.000-07:00

My oldest son is wearing his new shoes on our trip.

Perfect for Wyoming.

Preparations

2009-07-31T11:16:00.000-07:00

Last night our two families got together for a viewing of the movie RV with Robin Williams.

I laughed until I cried. I'm sure I would not have found this movie so funny if we weren't going on a similar trip. I was really laughing so hard because I'm terrified.

Last night I had a dream about the trip. I dreamed that the ghost of Michael Jackson visited us in our RV.

I think I'm loosing it.

It's A Cover Up

2009-07-30T08:34:00.000-07:00

Why are we bothering really?

Why is it that Tali and I, without the other knowing, both have hair appointments today to cover up the grey hairs before we go on this trip?

WHY???

Because while we will shop at Walmart on this trip we will not be seen with any lack of personal grooming standards. Even in an RV park.

I think this attitude is going to get us in trouble at some point. But you will not be seeing any grey in the photos, except for on our husbands, Zohan and Ken.

2009-07-29T18:07:00.000-07:00

TOP TEN RESPONSES TO THE RV TRIP AND OR THE BLOG:

10: You are going where/ You’re doing what??

9. The best vacation I ever had was when I was young and my parents put my sibling (s) and I in a R.V. and we went…

8. You sleeping in what? ?

7. Are you sharing an RV with Amber’s family??

6. Can you keep blog entries short??

5. Why??

4. Wyoming is… Rustic. Very Rustic.

3. No Tali, there are no Jews in Wyoming.

2. It’s not the Four Seasons you know??

Drum roll….and the number one response is…

1. I didn’t know you were married to the Zohan!

Field Trip

2009-07-28T09:32:00.000-07:00

Last week Tali and I went on a field trip to prepare for our adventure. We went to Walmart.

Believe it or not, T & A were Walmart virgins.

I can't speak for Tali, but I must admit that the fact I have never been to Walmart before last week was partly due to geography and partly due to snobbery. Unlike most of the American population, I don't live near a Walmart. There are probably seven Targets closer to me than the nearest Walmart. I never really had a need to travel past so many other options to go to Walmart. And I also enjoyed the fact that I had never supported the massive retail big-box dehumanizing small-business-killing super store. But really I go to Target all the time so it was just a snobby thing to be proud of.

The image Tali and I had of Walmart was a vast retail city, filled with light, overly friendly workers, and every item you could ever think of needing, all in one place, at the lowest imaginable price. I came with a list: shoes for my boys, a plastic storage bin for baseball clothes, underwear, maybe some clothes for the boys for the trip. What I bought was a plastic storage bin and some shampoo and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. All very cheap. But I couldn't find any of the other items, and it was a disappointing experience on that front. Walmart doesn't have everything, it is not a vast city, and the workers, when we spotted them, didn't pay any attention to us. The checker was positively sullen. Just not what I expected.

The thing I enjoyed the most was embarrassing my kids by dancing to Michael Jackson in the TV section. The Bad video was playing as we walked by. Who can resist that? And is it really that embarrassing to dance in a Walmart? No.

The other thing I enjoyed was perusing the book section with Tali. She was shopping for trashy magazines and Harlequin romance novels, both of of which Walmart carries an impressive selection in both English and Spanish. She had some excuse of sending the stuff to an aunt in South Africa. Right. Anyway, we laughed and laughed over the titles of the trashy romance novels. It was disturbing to me how many featured a pregnant female protagonist, pictured on the cover, having a torrid love affair with the sheik's son or the billionaire prince, Italian count, Spanish doctor, desert king, or the tycoon (French, Spanish, or plain). To see these book covers click here. I am not making this up. Anyway, I suggested Tali put back some of the pregnant books. Her "aunt" might want a better selection of romance options.

Then we checked out the bedding section. Tali wanted to see the sheets they carry and their thread count and fabric content in case the sheets that come with the RV are scratchy. Let's just say that she won't be upgrading sheets at Walmart.

I'm glad we are no longer Walmart virgins. We have more realistic expectations of what we will find when we stop at one to stock up on our trip. And I'm hoping we can find a Target instead.

Are we adventure freaks or what??

2009-07-27T11:14:00.000-07:00

What do you get when you put a slightly (up for discussion), neurotic, germ-a-phobe, control freak, South African Jew along with an ex Israeli commando, physicist; 2 cute and sometimes obnoxiously precocious kids with an all American blonde, blue eyed family (imagine an intelligent barbie who cooks gourmet meals with ease, dresses with perfect style and elegance, who is just fun!! along with a G.I. Joe/Ken hubby who knows all the rules to every sports game ever, does a mean limbo and is able to handle the huge amount of testosterone dished out by their incredibly cute well rounded 3 awesome boys) in 2 separate but tiny R.V's for 2 weeks?? We don't know either, but we will in about a week, when Tali and Amber and respective families fly to Denver Colorado to start an adventure that has been fun planning but is new to almost all of us - Mr. Ken is already RV savvy. Of course!

Join Us!

2009-07-27T09:49:00.000-07:00

Join us on our adventure! We are getting ready to go on an RV trip. My family: my husband and myself, our three boys, in two hundred square feet for two weeks. And our friends, Tali and her husband and two kids, in a separate RV.

What makes this an adventure? We are all new to the whole RV thing. And we are going with a family more accustomed to high thread count sheets, full service, first class and Four Seasons kinds of trips, a family that has traveled the world and wants to see the "real America." A family who is not prepared for the "real America" they are about to meet staying in RV parks. And let's face it, I've lived in America all my life, so has my husband, and my family is probably not prepared for it either. It's the unknown that makes it an adventure.

What we do know: we are flying to Denver, picking up our rented RVs, and heading out on a route that takes us through Wyoming to Yellowstone to South Dakota and back to Denver where we fly home. We know we are going to do a lot of driving. We know we are going to spend more money on gas than seems responsible.

My kids are over the moon about this trip. I am excited but getting nervous as it approaches. It's the whole packing thing. What to take? What not to take? Can I bring my cast iron skillet? Tali is so organized, she is already starting to pack. I wish she could pack for me. She is even bringing a snake bite kit.

As a kid I went on several RV trips. The one I hear the most stories about, but don't remember, is when my parents took me and my sister on a trip in an RV with my pet rat Fifi, and a Great Dane named Elsa. As my parents chatted with the mountie at the Canadian border, he asked about any pets. My parents mentioned the dog, showed him the required paperwork of shots, etc. Then, fearing my rat was being left out, I said from the back, "Don't forget about Fifi!"

"What?" the mountie asked.
My dad said reluctantly, "Uh, we have a pet rat too."
The mountie hesitated. "A pet RAT?"
"Yes sir" my father replied. "It's very clean."
Another heistation.
"What do you do for a living?" the mountie asked.
"I'm a pilot" my dad replied.
The mountie then disappeared for about 15 minutes. The line of cars behind grew and grew. Finally he came back and said, "We don't have any procedure for pet rats." Oh no we are going to have to turn around, my dad thought. "I'm going to let you go, but do me a favor. When you come back through the border, please do not mention the rat."
My parents made sure I was asleep when they went back through the border.

The RV trip I remember the most was the last one we went on, when I was about 14 or 15, and my sisters were about 13 and 9. We rented a RV and had it in the driveway, packing it up. My mom gave us girls the job of "decorating." We could do anything we wanted. Oh, the freedom!! We graced the RV with a huge poster of Sean Cassidy and lots of smaller pages from Teen Beat. Perfect! We were ready to go.

We had just gotten a kitten that was too young to leave at home, so we got a little collar and a leash and put her in the RV with us. My most vivid memories of this trip were trying to go to sleep and having a kitten crawling on me and meowing. I'd toss it to my sister's bed. Who tossed it to my parents. Who tossed it back to me. This went on all night most nights. During the day when we stopped we took the kitten for walks on the leash. It never learned to walk very well on that leash but it sure got a lot of attention from the other campers.

My husband went on several RV trips as a kid with his family. He has a terrifying story about how he heard a weird noise. His dad stopped to investigate and discovered all the lug nuts on one of the wheels had sheered off and they were just about to plunge to their deaths off a mountain pass.

We are not bringing any pets with us on this trip. I will be checking our lug nuts very carefully.